A poem for all of those who have had crushes or feelings for someone who could have been your lover but never was🌺
I still think about him.
Him…
He whose deep eyes refuse to be erased from my memory
He whose smile is indented in my mind
He whose voice still causes my heart to jump and I haven’t spoken to him in a long time
Him….
He who, if he stepped in front of me now I would unashamedly kiss him on the lips, savoring what little I can get
He who, when asked if he remembers me, would answer vaguely yet still receive a smile that came from the soul
Him…
God dammit!
Why can’t I get you out of my head or my heart?
Why did you have to pull me in with your humility and purity?
Why did you have to create a friendship with me and put your trust in me when I knew I was lying to us both?
God dammit!
Why does my heart still race when I think of you, years later when we no longer speak
When you rejected me
When you friend-zoned me?
Why do I still have moments alone where I just cry tears of pain for a love I know that cannot be, because you are you and I am me.
Tell me why.
We are two different people not meant to be,
Yet my heart refuses to accept this even when I see you walk by without a glance in my direction
My heart refuses to let you go even though it hurts to hear how happy you are with someone who’s not me
My heart refuses to close this open wound of an unrequited love, whose bloods seeps through when I lie and say I’m happy for you
My heart refuses to accept what must be but my heart accepts that it this is how it shall be
An unrequited love on an infinite loop
An unrequited love that is yet to be forgotten.
An unrequited love that brings this question forth day in and day out…
Why must I be in love with you?
- M. Rantao**
Love, light and blessings xx.
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